MotherhoodSingle Moms

When One Is Better Than Two

“Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

It’s true that two should be better than one.

What happens when one is better than two?

We all desire the perfect family.

A family where everything works, where there’s love and mutual respect among all family members. You have imagined your kids being raised in an environment that will help them to mature and develop into responsible, kind and loving people.

But what do you do when all your dreams and aspirations for a perfect home don’t seem to be coming together? What happens in situations where the idea you had for your kids aren’t just happening.

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein

dying inside

I once wrote a series on Abuse and this series spells out the difference between discipline, correction and plain abuse on the kids. When a home has failed to nurture a child in the way they ought to be nurtured, and has instead turned out to be a place of pain, aches and ‘torture’, something need to be done.

A home should be a place of comfort and succor from the troubles of this world.

family peace

What do you do when your home is not the place of joy, comfort and hope for your kids? What do you do when your ‘ought to be’ better half is making your life and that of your child(ren) a Living Hell?

you cant understand

My idea with this post is not to offer solutions because I actually do not feel qualified to offer any! My aim is to ask questions – questions from anyone who has gone through and will love to offer a word of encouragement to those who are still hurting.

starting over

What exactly does one do when One may seem better than two?

Sometimes you need to run for your dear life when violence is involved. Even when violence is not involved, what about the emotional trauma some are subjected to?

You should never feel a need to allow yourself to be damaged just to remain in a place where death is the end result. Your life is more important than what anyone thinks or what people may say. Only the living can tell the story.

If you feel compelled to stay for the kids, don’t forget that you need to be alive and well to take care of your kids.

What choice will you make?

Just Wondering,

Oluseye Ashiru

NB: I started writing this post in February 2015, I just couldn’t finish it – I was just at a loss, pondering on the issue of Abuse.

If you ever feel a need to speak to someone about your situation of abuse, kindly send an email to and we’d be glad to listen to you and help you through.

This post was first published on

Facebook Comments

0 thoughts on “When One Is Better Than Two

  1. I have personally seen situations where I actually questioned if one good parent is simply not better for the children than two parents existing under strife and domestic violence. For fear that I would one day witness a neighbor beaten to death, I advocated that she should go away for a while and think it through as well as pray from a distance, but she has to be alive to fend for her children. There are no perfect homes. We only prevail through Christ Jesus.

    1. Thank you for your contribution to this issue. Indeed there’s no perfect family, it’s whenever one’s physical and emotional well being are seriously under attack that serious and drastic decisions such as this are taken. The ability to know when and sometimes the will power to take that step is often lacking in quite a number of similar situations. May God grant us grace to make the right decisions when we need it the most.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *