Love, Affection & Desire


Every plant needs to be nurtured to grow. This same way, every marriage needs nourishment to grow.

The three-pronged nourishment that every marriage needs is Love, Affection and Desire.

These three words may seem synonymous – and in reality they should be – but they often aren’t always present in the right doses in every marriage.

There’s no doubt that two people have no business getting married if they do not love each other! I mean, couples who start out very much in love have numerous challenges in marriage, just imagine if another couple started on a ‘no love’ note. How on earth will they be able to weather the storms of life together? What motivation will they have to keep at it when the marriage goes through phases of challenges?

So, you started out with love, but is Love enough?

Does Love automatically translate to an awesome marriage?

The other important ingredients are Affection and Desire.

affetion 2

Affection is key to the overall success of any home.

Every marriage needs doses of affection from time to time. Affection is the nourishment of the ‘soul’ of every marriage. It is an expression of the Love between a man and a woman, shown in different ways. Too many marriages are starving for affection and you must realize that it is very important to your marriage and vital to connecting with your spouse. If yours is one of those marriages, you need to get to express your need for affection to your spouse, if not you may be tempted to find affection in the wrong things or places – it may even lead to an affair if care is not taken.

love making

Desire on the other hand is the physical expression of your love for your spouse in love making. That’s what makes a difference between a marriage and a friendship.

You cannot be with someone you don’t physically desire.

You must like what you see in your spouse, that will spark a desire in you for him/her. The same way a lack of affection can drive one into the arms of another, is the same way a lack of desire can be dangerous for any marriage.


In the next part of this article, we’ll take a look at what to do to keep the affection and the desire going strong in your marriage if you feel a need to add some spark and to make your wine more bubbly. I really desire that together we can learn to add color to our marriages.


Oluseye Ashiru

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