It's Okay to Get Angry…Teaching Your Kids To Handle Conflicts

Yes, it’s okay to get angry!

In fact, anger fuels change. We can only change whatever we have become uncomfortable with. Teaching our kids that it’s okay to get angry is a great step towards helping them handle conflicts appropriately.

Conflicts are bound to happen in everyday relationships, more so for kids, whether or not we like them to happen. How we  teach our kids to handle these conflicts as they occur will go a long way in helping them handle their adult relationships as they grow older. In fact, our kids are more likely to catch on to our conflict resolution skills as they grow older, if we model the right ones for them.

In teaching our kids how to handle conflicts, the most fundamental fact they need to come to terms with is the fact that each person is an individual with different perspectives about life and situations. As humans, we will always disagree on issues. Disagreements should not automatically signal the end of a relationship, we need to walk through disagreements and resolve them.


Another important lesson to teach them is that it is okay to be angry, but they shouldn’t get physical in their anger, or hurt others with their words.

Teach them to say exactly how they feel, they should not shy away from the conflict, but learn to walk through it.

Teach your child to admit whenever they are wrong – they can’t always be right.

Now that we have established that conflicts are a part of our lives, what steps should you ask your child to take whenever he finds himself faced with this kind of uncomfortable situation?


  • Calm Down
  • Try to figure out what the argument or conflict is all about
  • Listen to the other person too and their point of view
  • List out all possible alternatives to violence in resolving your conflicts
  • Decide on the option that you both agree with – that’s compromise
  • Stick to the agreed solution
  • If your agreed option isn’t working, discuss again.

Our kids must grow into responsible adults who will not shy away from situations, but who will know how to handle them appropriately.

Oluseye Ashiru

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