Now that you have Confronted your spouse about the affair, and you have given him some time to go and ponder on his decision about whether he wants to fight for the marriage or not, what are the next steps to take?
If your spouse is unrepentant, you may need to involve some people you believe he respects, to have a discussion about the situation at hand. Someone like an elder, or the pastor of the church, who you believe he respects enough to listen to, may be able to reason with him. It is actually important to have this kind of formal meeting with others involved because, for a spouse who believes he can do as he pleases, this shows that others are involved now and it’s not business as usual.
Also, by setting up this informal meeting, your spouse can hear from an objective person, someone whose emotions are not as involved as yours are.
In the event that your spouse refuses to listen to reason, and continues with the affair, you may need to give him an ultimatum or to create a crisis of some sort. Let him know that he needs to make a decision about the marriage or you will need to have a separation for a while until he decides.
This sometimes, serves as an eye opener and a wake up call for the spouse. Sometimes, such a situation is necessary to allow the spouse to think about things, have the much needed self-examination. He will be able to decide what exactly he wants, if the affair is more important than the marriage to him.
Before the ultimatum is issued however, make sure you have all resources available to you lined up and in place. You may want to be sure that you have a support system of those who will help you go through this period. Resources such as a network of people praying for you, your finances, a place to stay – the home of a friend or family member – should be well thought out before that decision is made.
You need to make sure that you have all plans and resources laid out and leave while your emotions are still in check, and don’t wait till you are desperate and won’t be able to make a rational decision. Let your spouse know that you have left until he’s decided to make amends and ready to get help about the situation.
Once this has been done, you can only put the matter entirely in God’s hands and trust Him to touch the heart of your wayward spouse.
Right now, things may look bleak to you, but this is not the time to give up hope. God is interested in piecing your marriage back together.
Don’t give up. Believe
To Be Continued In The Next Series On:
Healing From The Pains Of Infidelity
This post was first published on www.strivingnigerianmom.com