Do you know the Love Language of your child?
I listened to Pastor Nike Adeyemi some years ago about this subject and it struck a chord in me. She mentioned that every child has a love language that fills their love cup. Whenever you use it, you fill the cup, whenever you deprive the child of it, or ignore the need for that love cup to be filled, you starve the child of love and that child will be constantly on the lookout for who will fill that cup. If a deceitful person comes into the life of your child, and discovers the love language of the child, they can use it to manipulate the child. But as parents, we can use this tool to fill our children’s love cup so that they feel loved wherever they go.
Applying this to my life, I looked at my children and discovered the strongest love language for each of them differs. One of my sons loves to be touched. He likes to touch and to be touched as in you can just tap him on the shoulder or on his head and he will respond by throwing his arms all over you. For him, touch means everything such that I made an agreement with him that any time he feels lonely, he can just come for a hug. I know boundaries have to be set so he doesn’t just go hugging everyone but I’m thankful I discovered it early.
My daughter likes being hugged but it is nothing compared to saying sweet words to her or complimenting her look. She would just glow when she is complimented. I discovered it was her main love language though there were also things she liked but this one put more into the love cup than any other. So I remember to tell her she looks beautiful every time she makes a new hair style. I keep repeating that she is a pretty girl and she would laugh or jump in delight.
My other son just loves attention. He thrives in making eye contact as he plays, runs on errands or even make some mischievous moves. Just watching him can reinforce his behavior and by ignoring him, you can discourage an action. He is not really moved much by hugs except there is a particular reason he needs it. But he likes to be watched.
It is amazing when you notice how children differ though they are from the same parents. But we can maximize their love languages for their benefit. As a parent, we can learn to fill our children’s love cup so they are not starving from love. This will reduce their vulnerability to emotional predators and manipulators.
In all this, remembering to tell them you love them regularly is very important. Growing up, I never heard my parents ever tell me they loved me (which was the norm then) but we can make a change in our children’s generation.
Let’s begin and continue.
This Post was first Published on www.deardaughterofgod.com